It Has To Be You (Yesung diary)

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Genre: Tragedy, Romantic
in bahasa: http://asianfflyra.blogspot.com/2010/06/4th-os-it-has-to-be-you.html

IT HAS TO BE YOU

I don't know when this feeling began to emerge. Maybe when I saw you in first time. Maybe when I see how sincere you are in my eyes. I can’t imagine my life without you. You're the one girl in my heart. For forever and it will not change.

January 21st
Today is like usual day. Nothing special. There was only pain. I hope to die immediately to pick me up so I don’t feel the pain that this remarkable. I don’t want to bother the people around me. I don’t want to see them suffer because of me. I'm sick of living like this. God grant that the best way for me.

January 22nd
Today it gets colder. I hate winter. I really hate it. I can’t breathe fresh air. I can only be in the room staring out the window. And what do I get? White white and white. I hate the color white. I hate that pale color.

January 31st
Today they let me out of the room. I'm glad I can stroll around the hospital relieves my boring. It seems they are very hassle. Gosh I didn’t know if there is a big incident just happened. A bus crashed into a building. I don’t know for sure what causes it. What is clear is that almost burned down the bus and its passengers on average experienced a severe injury.

February 1st
I met a girl that makes my heart beat fast. Don’t know what made me like this just by looking at her. She was like any other girl. Maybe it's because her smile. She was like an angel. I'd love to be around her. I want to look at her face always see her smile.

February 3rd
Already 3 days she was in this hospital. Apparently one is a victim her friend accident the other day. I'm a little jealous with her friend yes that boy. I'm so jealous with that boy. He always gets a smile from her.

February 4th
I can’t see her like this. She was crying. I wanted to hug her and say everything will be fine, trust me. But what, one other boy hugged her and comforted her. Gosh my heart likes the stabs with a sharp knife. I can’t see it all.

February 14th
For ten days I didn’t see her at the hospital. What happened?
Today I have prepared a chocolate for her. I don’t care what she thinks about this. I just want her to receive a chocolate gift.

February 15th
A nurse told me that her friend died eleven days ago. That is why he was crying. Her friend suffered burns severe enough. But the magic really can her friend that my face looked like that. Sisters say probably because boy’s love it can last for several days and could see the smile his girl. Yes his girls. I had no idea if she is girlfriend that Boy. No wonder she was crying the other day great. But the question is who Boy who held her at that time.

March 7th
My condition is getting better. Perhaps because taste my wants to get out of this hospital and look for it. Doctors say another week I can get out of the hospital.

March 14th
Cast on my foot and my hand was on the loose. And I can walk freely without assistance. But still there is one point that has not healed. My voice. A month ago I could speak even a few words. But not this time. Absolutely not. Since the beginning doctors have predicted this would happen. This is why I intend to die. My voice is the only one that I was proud of me.

March 17th
I looked at the keys of a piano that is in front of me. At least I should be able to play a musical instrument. I started playing one song, two songs up to five songs. Everyone seemed happy to see me. But somehow my heart is saying no. I do not like it seems many shortcomings.

March 26th
Already entered the spring but the temperature was still cold. At first I did not want to get out, but I'm bored. I decided to go to Wonderland. And my decision was right. I met her. My Angel. She shared a small child. Maybe it was her bother. She is always smiling even though the little boy troubled him. I followed. She was not aware of my existence. I'm always there at his side. And the little boy with her was aware that I follow them. But the little boy just stays quiet. Indeed today I might not forget. I met her, with her indirectly, and I know where she lives.

March 27th
I waited him out of her house. I followed her again. She went into a café. I went into the café. I like the café's decor. Then I realized I'd lost the trail. I looked around and she is not in the room. A girl gift seat in one corner of the room. She provides menus. I just pointed to the menu that I choose and she wrote it. Then he left. I'm still look around. How strange she could just disappear.
Wait a few minutes girl came toward me with contains My Order. Gosh I do not believe that girl was my angel. She lay on my desk My Order. He smiled at me. He worked here as a waiter. Looks like I should more often to this place.

April 17th
Some days I rarely write in the diary. I do not have time. I'm too busy taking care of my angel that I do not keep my own body condition.
Every day I come to the cafe where she works at the time and the same seat. And of course with the same orders. Every day he delivered the order for me.
Today I did not see it in the cafe. Her friend said she was sick. Just like me. Condition is not good. I should have breaks but I insisted. Looks like I have to miss a few days to see him. I needed time to rest at home.

April 18th
I was at home all day. I really miss him. I can not live without her. I really need it. What should I do? What should I do to deal with her?

April 23rd
She's not in the cafe. . Is she sick? Looks like I have to go to her house tomorrow. Yes should.

April 24th
Luckily if so. Turns out she's okay. She was just exhausted by the care of younger siblings. More precisely his adopted brother. She lived in an orphanage. And my guess true, it turns out she was an orphan.
Even so he was always smiling as if her life really perfect. I wanted to greet her and ask her acquaintance. But I can not. I can not speak. A beautiful gift in me is now missing.

April 27th
You know today I wrote the lyrics to the song for her.
I know I can not sing it because I can not sing the same way again. I made it for one day she knows my truth feelings.

May 2nd
I really wanted to end my life. If it were not so maybe I'd kill myself. I can not live like this. It's too bad. I can not ... Really can not afford...

May 5th
I see the trophies and charters of appreciation. All had been arranged neatly on shelves. And three days ago I had to destroy it. I do not think if my parents can care as before losing. It seems they still proud me and expect.

May 7th
I do not want to dissolve in this sorrow, misfortune myself. I just lost one of the most beautiful gifts my voice. But I'll prove that I will be struggling in the music world. I will be more intense than ever. I will be famous than ever. It Because of you my angel.

May 14th
I've made a beautiful melody that can be coupled with a lyric that I made for my angel.

May 15th
Ah you talked to me. Really I'm happy. But unfortunately I can give you just smile and nod.

May 16th
My angel like you can read my mind. Did you see what's in my brain just by looking at my eyes? I'm glad you looked at me like that.

May 21st
These days I'm busy with other affairs. I did not get to see you. Are you okay? Are you still smiling like that?

June 3rd
I made a few songs. All this was inspired because of you my angel. One song that really I like about some songs that I make I'll show you right in my birthday.

June 6th
Today I will show my talent in front of you. I played a white grand piano in the cafe where you work. This is not the best song I like. But this song is able to recover my spirits when I'm falling in hard feelings.
You give me applause and say that I'm great. But unfortunately I can not respond to my voice. I can only smile to you.
I feel like an idiot. Love like silence. I do not know until when this will dumb.

June 15th
I met with you with a paper. And now you know. I do not so perfectly that you imagine. I'm dumb ... But I can hear what you say. Whatever will I do to make you in awe with me even though I have flaws?

June 16th
It seems lately is the happiest day in my life. Do you frequently communicate with me? Although I replied through a sheet of paper.
I'm glad I can see your smile it is just me. I'm very pleased.

June 17th
Today I can not see my angel. And a few days later I also can not see you. I hope I can still live without you.

July 27th
Finally I can see you. You look more beautiful than usual. You're more shining than before. What happened to you? Would you share with me?

August 1st
There is good news. Right on my birthday I'll release an album. My playing piano the most beautiful just for you My Angel ~ at that moment I will speak my heart to thee. Through my playing piano.

August 7th
I've been preparing everything from now. I can not wait that day.

August 11th
Today I tell a lot to you? And you seemed pleased with what I'm told. If I could speak, perhaps every day when I will see you sing a song for you.

August 17th
Looks like one of your friends know that I love you. Are you aware of my feelings? Other people may feel alone, do not you feel it?

August 18th
I've talked to your friend and the other problems about my surprise for you later. In the café where you work it. Hopefully that day became a beautiful day. Will be memory day in your life.

August 23rd
I do not know what to say anymore. I'm waiting for tomorrow.

August 24th
I'll explain what happened...
I've been planning with perfect. I've been practicing my best. But in reality...
Speech from the family, relatives and people who know me are not enough.
What I need only you....
I need you.
I need a greeting from you.
Your smile.
Today I'm happy that it should instead be the most excruciating day of my life.
Is this a sign that I should end my life?
For hours I waited in the café until the candles were extinguished one by one, you never arrived. Until I get out of the café and went looking for you. So what I get? You along with other Boy ~ you are very affectionate...
You've made me hurt. I do not know if I could live to see you with another Boy.

August 25th
Your friend tells me that you just has boyfriend. Well if that's your decision. I will try to take it. Accept this bitter reality.

September 3rd
Since then I no longer see you. Honestly I miss you. I want to be with you.

September 7th
Everyone started looking at me. My new album a success. I should be glad...

September 19th
My heart like the stab of times to see you with him. You're laughing with him. You look very happy. Boy it kisses your forehead, you hug him, and it really makes me sick.

September 21st
I will try to let you go. My busy hopefully I can forget you.

October 25th
Had entered Autumn. Cold ~ I hate this feeling. I also hate to see you making out with her. If you know my feelings ... what are you going to do My Angel...?

1 November
I hate this place. I hate hospitals. I hate the smell of this place cash. Why did I not die at that time...?
I really can not live without you...
I can not live without you....

November 10th
I do not know what to do anymore. I just make my music the lyrics for this. If I'm alive and recover my voice, maybe I'll sing it for you. If not I want you to sing it. So you know my feelings. How deeply I feel about you, feel it all oh my angel ~

November 23rd
I'm glad to get out of the hospital. Tomorrow I will meet you. Should I express this feeling must be before it becomes a heavy burden for me.

November 24th
Today happen so fast. You're sitting in the park. You stand and you're like a bear the pain. And then you fall. And you know ... I screamed at that time. You hear? I cried when brought to the hospital.
You must know, you really are my angel ~
I hope you get a donor heart.
I do not know you suffer from heart disorders. And now I know. You’re more hurt than me. I will try to make you stay alive despite having to sacrifice my life.

November 29th
My voice was again lost. Indeed, I hide the truth that my voice recovers. But I was not disappointed. At least when my voice back. I have recorded lyrics that I make. Hope you like it.

December 3rd
You still have not passed out huh? Please ... you have to get up ... I can not see you sleep so long. This feeling like being stabbed repeatedly. You made my eyes water drain.

December 4th
So far I do not see you directly. I just watched you from afar. Because that Boy more meaningful to you by your side than on me.

December 9th
I'm glad you realize. I'm glad to see you smile. Although the smile is not intended for me.

[Another person's handwriting]

January 1st
Yesung thank you ~
Thank you for giving everything for me...

January 3rd
Oppa accepted the love has given me heart. Accepted the love has loved me all along. Honestly, I began to love you. But I do not dare tell it to you. Because I know my life no longer. I suffer from heart disorders.
I’m sorry Oppa ~ because I also experienced the suffering that you're so heavy.
I never met Boy like you. When can I reset the time maybe I will not make you disappointed.

January 10th
Oppa today I was allowed out of hospital. I'll use what you give for the best.
January 11th
Oppa I hear your songs in the café where I work. Today I do not work oppa ~ but I miss this place. Now I write in a place where you sit normally.
Oppa ~ I feel it. I feel your love to me nodes.

January 14th
Oppa ~ Could I come with you?
February 1st
I act stupid!
You gave me life but instead I wanted to end my life. Forgive me.
From this day forward I promise to your place. I will feel what you feel.
And oppa I'm so glad you made works for me. I really love your work, entitled It Has to Be You. I've heard your records. It has not been published is not it? Maybe on my first album I'll include it. So that everyone can feel love both of us.
I will never forget the love that has filled my day. I will not forget and never could.

END

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